One more thing ...

Here's a transcript of Tuesday's Macworld 2008 Keynote in a condensed form just in case you missed it.

Steve: Hey guys!
Crowd: [crazy applause]
Steve: Leopard sold well. Here's TimeCapsule.
Crowd: Huh? Move on!
Steve: iPhone sold well. Here's some cool new features!
Crowd: Yay we get to text more than one person!
Steve: Apple TV sucked. We've fixed it! And you can rent stuff now!
Crowd: Sweet!
Steve: Envelopes are small. Oh wait, there's a MacBook Air in here!
Crowd: OMG OMG! Gimme gimme!
Steve: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Crowd: We want it! No wait, it's useless. But it's so pretty, though.
Steve: One more thing...
Crowd: He said it! Here we go!
Steve: Umm, uhh... watch this old guy sing! Bye!

Okay, no surprises this year. No "One more thing" from El Jobso. No 3G iPhone announcement. No demo of third-party apps for the iPhone. No laptop that'll change the laptop world. No ... just no.

But at least I know I won't be upgrading my 3.5 year old PowerBook G4 quite yet. Why? I'll tell you why.
MacBook - Needs a major overhaul for me to consider it. It's cute though.
MacBook Air - If I had a Mac Pro and $2000 laying around, then I'd definitely get this.
MacBook Pro - Looks just like my PBook: sexy. But it could use a new design.

Maybe I'm just coming up with reasons out of my ass, but I'm in a situation where I look at their laptop lineup and I can't see myself needing any of those laptops. Not to mention I can't afford one right now.

Guess what, though?! My iPhone now lets me text message more than one person. w00t! Oh wait, you've been able to do that with your phone? Wait...did you just say that all phones have that feature? Now that I think about it, I think my Nokia 8162 from 1999 allowed me to text more than one person!

Congratulations, Apple. You've managed to get iPhone owners like myself excited about these "new features" you've added to our phones. Features like the aforementioned multi-person SMS, icon rearrangement, and cell tower triangulation, which is basically a poor man's version of GPS. What's next, video recording and MMS (picture text) messaging? Maybe you don't know this, but pretty much every phone can record video and send picture messages. Get with the program.

I know, I know... you're only doing this so that when you finally announce the 3G iPhone 2, you'll be able to show off the features you purposely left out of the first one. Just to have the "OMG OMG" reaction from your Apple fanboys/girls. "Here's the iPhone 2. You can now record videos. Amazing! And check this out: you can take a picture, and then send it to your friends without having to e-mail them!" They're probably gonna call it the iPhone Video or the iPhone With Features We Should've Put In The First Place.

C'mon, Apple. C'mon!

I now look forward to the 364 days til Macworld 2009 Keynote! Let the rumors begin...