Target Practice

I don't normally take photos of stores. But today, I happened to stumble upon what my parents described as "a new big Target. Huge!" So I HAD to check it out. And I had to take pictures. And this particular Target did not disappoint.

Pictures courtesy of my iPhone (click for larger version):

Let's start with the outside. I think it looked fantastic. It was architecturally (architectually?) different from any Target I had been to before. I guess not all Targets are made equal. But if you look closely, you'll notice that even the stop sign looks awesome.



Sorry for the blurry shot. But check out the entrance/exit doors! I used to work at Target many years ago, and all the doors were smothered in red. Here, enter is green, and exit is red. Genius! BRILLIANT! And that massive target on the ground is a nice touch.



As soon as you enter, there's a Starbucks! I mean, I'm trying to cut down on my Starbucks intake (miss you, caramel frap and macchiato!), but this was just a pleasant surprise. I didn't get a chance to go inside, but I plan on ordering a drink from there before I head back to Jersey. Doesn't the sign look cool? I like it. C'mon! Fine, I'm reaching.



I know that a few Targets have a grocery section, but look at this one. The people look like they're ENJOYING the act of grocery shopping. They make it look so fun in here. I wanna grocery shop now.



Nature called. And good thing! The bathroom was an exhilerating experience. The urinals have an inviting quality about them. They make you WANT to pee on them. These urinals scream "Hello there. Come over my way, big boy. Pee on me, baby!" They were totally fighting to have my penis pee on them. Guess which one I peed on.



I, unlike some people, wash my hands after I go pee pee. And it sure was a treat on these guys. Obviously, they were of the motion sensor type. Loved it! However, I wish the soap dispenser had been motion sensor as well. Too bad. It would have made this restroom PERFECT.



So besides admiring this beautiful Target, I also managed to do a little shopping. The nerd in me went straight to the Blu-ray section. For those not in the know, Blu-ray is a high definition disc format that is attempting to be the successor to DVD, and it has exactly one competitor called HD DVD (I have the luxury of having both). Why did I go to the Blu-ray section? Because I wanted to get Lost Season 3 after I gave up on it last year. People have been telling me that the second half is pretty dope. But I also wanted to get Superbad even though I had seen it three times in the theater and rented the Blu-ray when it came out. I just wanted to own it. And I ended up getting Superbad instead of Lost (I'll just Netflix it). F'sho. Imma Netflix it f'sho.



Need glasses? This Target's got you covered. I've been to big Targets before with Starbucks, grocery sections, massage parlors (sike), but this was my first encounter with an Optical department. Speaking of glasses, I've been on a mission to find thick-framed glasses that fit my head. My head is massive. Mother tells me "You have to lose weight!" She's crazy. Like losing weight will somehow decrease the size of my skull. Will it? I doubt it. I gotta find a place that does custom-fit glasses. Or look into skull reduction surgery.



Check out this collection. This store had twice as many as the store I used to worked at and it's only slightly larger. Probably for all the old people here. There are so many old people. Oh, and these things were so fun to ride on when I was an employee. I mean they probably only had a topseed of 2 mph, but it feels pretty badass. Next time you go to a Target, just do your limp-walk. Take a ride on one of these puppies, and you'll know what I'm talkin' about.


And that's it. This Target was probably the best Target I've ever been to. Even the customer service was great. One of the T-shirts I bought didn't have a price tag, and I told the cashier "It was like 5 bucks or something." She totally fell for it! Haha, score! I must've saved like 10 bucks. Sweet. But I should've said it was a dollar. Dammit.

My ratings for this store (out of 10):

Design: 10.0
Department Diversity: 10.0
Restroom: 9.0 (Men's only)
Customer Service: 10.0
Disabilty Accomodations: 10.0
Blu-ray/HD DVD Selection: 8.0
Awesomeness: 9.5

Overall: 9.6 (not an average)

Best Target Ever.