Top 5 Reasons to Quit Drinking Coke
5. It's dangerous.
4. It makes me burpy. Burpy burpy burp.
3. It yellowens my teeth.
2. It stings the nostrils (when I drink it too fast).
1. It can stain your clothes.
That last one is the number one main reason why I'm going to stop drinking Coke. I was in my car, having a post-work Coke during my drive. It was your typical plastic bottle variety. I waited for a red light.
Boom. Red light action.
I grabbed the bottle with my right hand, and twisted the cap off with my left.
Awesome. I placed the opening on my sweet luscious lips.
Mmm.
Yum.
Sexy coke. You is a sexy beast.
Just a sip for now. I attempted to put the cap back on, and that's when I fumbled.
Lovely. Effing awesome. I sat there like an idiot with my hands in the air like I had just touched an alien's butt crack.
Moments later, I felt my balls getting slightly drenched with Coke. Perfecto. Just what I needed.
That's exactly why I'll only drink water for my drives. No stains, no problems. If I had been drinking water, I could've just ended up looking like I had crotch sweat or something, but whatever.
Heh. I like that. Crotch sweat.
Anyways, here are a few more pictures of this horrific accident.
Damn you Coke! Damn you!
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